Parents Corner

A mother in law shared that her son and daughter-in-law, married recently quarrel a lot and fear that it is affecting their relationship?

Thank you for writing and sharing your concern with us.  You shared that they have been married for six months and that at the time of marriage your son was 19 years old and your daughter-in-law was 16 years old. Marriage is a major life change for any couple and thus problems with adjustments are natural. This is a time where both are trying to understand each other’s habits, views and needs. While marriage brings about a change in roles and responsibilities of both the man and the woman, there are additional changes for the woman, as she has to adjust to the new household. The fact that your son and daughter-in-law are young may also be contributing to some of the issues. Experience has shown that marriage at an early age has an emotional, psychological and physical toll on individuals. Many pregnancy related complications in women are related to their early age pregnancy where their bodies are not fully prepared for motherhood.

You also shared that your daughter-in-law seems confused and not fully adjusted into your home environment and also faces difficulties in different household chores. Since she is very young, it is important not to expect from her to follow everything exactly as you expect from her. She has come from a different background and setup, where things were done another way.

Here are some guidelines that can help you deal with these concerns:

1. Offer her an opportunity to contribute to family decisions no matter how small to show that you appreciate and respect her feelings and opinion.
2. Encourage her to talk about the problems she is experiencing in the new environment

For both your son and daughter-in-law your support is really very important in order to guide them:

1. Encourage them to spend more time together in order to understand each other.
2. Encourage them to discuss their problems with each other and support each other in handling different situations/ problems.

We hope we have been able to address your concerns, if you have any specific issue regarding emotional, psychological and reproductive health, feel free to write to us on awaz@mail.comsats.net.pk or our PO BOX 1298 Islamabad.
You can also call on our toll free number 0800-22444 for further information.

Take Care
 Counselor
Youth Help Line.